The 2 x 10 Method: Building Student Relationships one Kid at a Time
In a recent online seminar with school psychologist Dr. Allen Mendler, Mendler talked about the 2 x 10 method of connecting with students, especially tough students. Here’s what he suggested:
Take two minutes a day for 10 consecutive days to engage the student in personal conversation.
I haven’t tried this myself, but I can see how this 2 x 10 method would work well to improve classroom management. Personal connections are so important to learning. If a student knows the teacher cares, the student is more likely to be engaged in class. If the teacher and student have created a personal bond, it’s harder for either one to depersonalize and disrespect one another.
The two minutes need to be personal and not about math, science, or business communications. What did you do over the weekend? is always a good start. So are: Did you catch last night’s game? What do you think about the new movie? Could you recommend a video game my son might enjoy? The conversation should be about the student, not about the teacher. Listen and learn. Respond. Smile. Treat the kid as if she is the most interesting kid in the room.
If I were to use the 2 x 10 method, I’d first target my influential student leaders – the ones who are more likely to lead the class in mayhem, like Tim or Ashley, rather than those who edit the yearbook, like Charisse or Karen.Charisse and Karen already tell me all about their weekends and show me their yearbook layouts. They connect with everyone. Tim and Ashley connect with their peers just fine, but love to strengthen the us-versus-them students-versus-teachers mentality.
It might be an interesting experiment to use 2 x 10 on the student leader’s buddy first rather than approach Tim or Matt head on. Clint feels more approachable to me than Tim does; at least he’s more predictable. Hannah is less likely to be fashionably rude to me than Ashley. Winning over the best friends could be a good first step to winning over the student leaders.
I’d also use the 2 x 10 method on those kids who are hard to reach, like Aaron, who doesn’t come to class very often, or Kurt, who rarely puts pen to paper.
I’m sure that the 2 x 10 method isn’t a miracle cure for classroom management. But I have two minutes to strengthen a bond between myself and a student. One caring adult can make a huge difference in a student’s life. And maybe, my two minutes over 10 days will yield benefits beyond the personal connection: improved classroom management and more student learning.
Allen N. Mendler, PhD, is an educator, psychologist., and author. His most recent book published by the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, Connecting with Students (2001), provides numerous practical strategies that help educators to connect effectively with their students. He can-be contacted at: Discipline Associates, phone: 1 /800/772-5227; fax: 773/549-6515; e-mail: tammy@disciplineassociates.com; Web site: www.disciplineassociates.com
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7 comments ↓
Jessica
01.10.11 at 8:48 am
Just wanted to say I forwarded this onto our staff, and our school psychologist stopped by my office to say that she was going to implement this one of our student's educational/behavioral plan.
Diane
01.10.11 at 4:34 pm
Thanks, Jessica, for sending this to your staff! I’m really pleased that your school psychologist is going to incorporate it into a student’s educational/behavioral plan.
Let me know if teachers in your building have success with this. I’d love to be able to gather up success stories for a post in February when spring looks so very far away.
You made my day, Jessica. It’s great to know that others will be trying this method and connecting with kids.
Maralyn
01.11.11 at 1:45 pm
This is an excellent strategy and simple formula to strengthen relationships one at a time. With ten sections and an every other day rotation, in multiple classrooms, developing those bonds can be a challenge.
Kathryn Brown
01.11.11 at 7:13 pm
Last year this giant of a middle school student was marked as a bully. Over the summer he matured; some habits still carried forward. I found out he had a favorite NFL team and I know nothing about this team. I got him, over several days, to teach me something about his favorite team. I’d read the newspaper and ask others for bits of information to carry the conversation forward. He’s a changed student and I’m a changed teacher. PR building is everything. This 2 X 10 method seems worthwhile and too easy not to do.
Cathy
01.11.11 at 8:06 pm
It works. I was forwarded this link by a motivating colleague who wished to share. Because we have hall duty each day before/after school and during class changes, I have the opportunity to meet/greet a large majority of our student population daily. By taking the time to listen in on passing conversations, notice changes in demeanor/dress and then, when it’s not intrusive, add a comment to show interest, give a small, truthful compliment, or ask a question about the topic I overheard earlier I have become the happy recipient of snakeskins, origami boxes, photos of labradoodles, a 101 ways to annoy your teacher booklet, a complete instruction sheet on the rules of NASCAR (color-coded),(just to name a few things…) along with the student’s trust and respect. Just by taking that little bit of hall-passing time. – maybe not even as much as 2 minutes most days.
Students are people. We all know that, but not really. Just as we want someone to care about what we care about. So do they. By giving students the time to share themselves, as person-to-person, we create a connection which creates great outcomes.
Connie
01.12.11 at 5:38 pm
I haven't used 2×10, but rather a 5×180. That is at least 5-seconds a day every school day. When I was a teacher I greeted my students at the door every day. Greeting means looking squarely at the student; saying his/her name when saying hello, smiling, and shaking hands with ever student throughout the day. It guaranteed that I was going to see this student as a person every day; say something non-threatening; welcome them in, and connect with them personally. On some days this was the only time I was able to connect with this student, so the greeting was very important.
The greeting set the tone, managed entry, and helped me to know my students and in turn identify students that were going to need more personal time in class.
Initially, my middle and high school students balked at the idea; however, within a month, they were participating eagerly. A by-product was an increased recognition of student diversity developed as my students who were multi-lingual taught me how to say hello in their language, which I in turned taught to all my students. I encourage every teacher to try this; it works wonders.
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