You’re right: excluding a girl is another form of social aggression. I’m sure you’ve tried switching girls from group to group in class along with talking to them.

From what I’ve read, I know that the main aggressor is often a teacher pleaser – someone who is a nice kid with you, but she rules her little clique with aggression.

That’s the one I’d go after. Try to co-opt her. Sit her down and recognize her as a leader among girls and ask how the two of you can work together to make sure all girls in class feel accepted. Don’t mention the kid who’s being left out – no need to paint a target on her.

Anyway, that’s what I’d do. I’d also go after the main girl’s second-in-command and try to get her on board, too. After talking with #1. I’d explain that number one and I had a talk about including all girls. What does she think of the plan? Number two is a bystander. The bystanders are powerful because they’re a lot of people who don’t say anything and lend their power instead to number one.

If that didn’t work, I’d offer the excluded girl any protection and attention I could give. Subtly, of course. I don’t want to make her a target. I would ask for her help during class, allow her to run errands, and recognize her strengths.

It’s a tough problem, isn’t it?

Thanks again for the comment.

Diane