Don’t Let Insults Slide

February 15th, 2010 By: Diane Trim in Articles, School Climate, Teachers' Corner

One hot Texas summer, I taught junior English to 40 kids. All kids were from different schools, different backgrounds, and different gangs. Me, I was the young, naïve new teacher. I had two years’ experience under my belt and I thought I could handle it.

For the first week of classes, I had always asked my students to sit in alphabetical order so I could learn their names. That’s how I began the class.

A big guy in a muscle shirt with a tattoo and a gold-outlined tooth interrupted me. “Miss,” Sean said. “Miss, don’t put us in alphabetical order.”

I remember using some think time. “What should I do, Sean?”

“Let me assign seats.”

Sean made me a brilliant seating chart. I was too young and too chicken to ask him, but I’m sure Sean seated one gang on the left, the other on the right, and some neutral girls down the center as a buffer zone. Thank you, Sean, for looking out for me.

Life in summer English 11 was pretty peaceful until I allowed the class to divide themselves into teams for a review game. My students were completely engaged in the game. They enjoyed any opportunity to compete and began to trash talk. You can imagine how the trash talk escalated from good-natured ribbing to real insults. The original lesson plan had called for a friendly game with vocabulary words and a go-to-the-bathroom-free pass at stake, but it escalated to an event that was about honor, justice, pride, and revenge. They began to shout, stand up, and scatter desks.

I managed to end the game and settle the class, but I’m sure by now you can spot my earlier error. In my defense: I was new.

The error: don’t allow trash talk, good-natured ribbing, casual insults, or slams.

The problem with trash talk and other negative talk is that it can escalate to bigger things like harassment, bullying, or a fight.

Lay the groundwork. Know your school district’s harassment policies and explain them to the students at the beginning of the school year. If you haven’t done that already, today’s a good day to start. Let students know that you care about them as individuals, you want them to feel safe, and you want everyone in your classroom to respect one another’s rights.

Prevent trash talk.

• Set a tone of respect in the classroom. Do not rib students or use sarcasm.
• Praise students, especially when they’re nice to one another.
• Label the entire group as one of your favorite classes ever and hope that they become it.
• Instead of saying, “Stop that,” say, “Hey, Shamika. That’s not cool. How can you say that with respect?”
• Smile more than frown.
• Watch students for warning signs of disrespect – like trash talking.

No bystanders.
When faced with a conflict, some people, some teachers, look the other way. Looking the other way is the same thing as agreeing with the bullying behavior.

• Never let a negative comment slide. You must address it every time or students will think you agree with the comment.
• Reward students who stand up for one another with praise. Call their parents and let them know that their student has integrity and backbone.
• Don’t call attention to the trash talker’s target. Talk to the person privately, but don’t double her shame with a public poor baby.

Contact others and document.

• Always write down any bullying event in a notebook with the date, time, students’ names, and words or deeds, as best you can recall.
• Touch base with the victim privately the next day to check she’s O.K. Document.
• Let the guidance counselor know that the victim might need support. Document.
• Talk to parents and let them know what happened, what you’ve done, whom you’ve informed, and what the school policy is. Document.
• If the trash talking or negative speech continues, use your documentation to write a referral to the school administration. Include all parent phone calls, guidance counselor contacts, and any actions you’ve taken.

My summer English 11 class was challenging, but I learned a lot. I learned how to manage a classroom of 40 diverse kids in rival gangs and leave the room feeling like we all had a fun and productive morning. I learned to listen to my students because often they’re right. And I learned not to let insults slide. What starts out as funny can end up serious.

Tags: behavior, bullying, Classroom Management, documentation, parents, phone calls