
Teens are impulsive. That spontaneity is part of their charm. And it’s part of the problem, too.
Picture this: Nick sees a cute girl downstairs by the lockers. He thinks that he can impress her if he jumps over the stair rail from the upstairs landing to the commons below.
Not impressive, Nick, when the paramedics have to haul you to the clinic for a cast.
My first instinct is to ask Nick, “Why did you do this? Why did you think this was a good idea?”
The why is not productive. It’s likely that Nick doesn’t remember why he thought it was a smart thing to do, now that he can’t play baseball this spring.
Students misbehave or make poor choices for many reasons:
The why really isn’t important when it comes to a solution. Often discussing the why with a student can make her feel cornered. The teen tries to justify something that isn’t justifiable and becomes defensive. The why then becomes a power struggle.
It’s more productive to ask the what questions.
The answers to these what questions are factual, not accusatory. They lead to solutions, not power struggles. Best of all, the student learns what behavior would have been appropriate in the situation.
The why? Well, I can tell you why the behavior happened without even asking the student. Teens are impulsive. It’s part of their charm.

2 comments ↓
Linda
03.04.10 at 12:40 am
I propose that students who are actively engaged in their learning will have fewer discipline issues. I propose that teachers who allow the learning to be more student focused and less teacher focused, have fewer discipline issues. I have teachers in my school who very rarely sit down at their desks and whose students are engaged in writing to learn activites, group work, technology based assignments, activities that are scaffolded, etc. The more the students “do” for the lessons, the less they “do” to cause disruptions. Do you agree?
Diane
03.08.10 at 4:55 pm
Hi, Linda!
Oh, absolutely. I think that engagement is a huge part of reducing discipline issues. However, I’ve had kids who suffer from the imp of the perverse. Who knows why Josh progressed from drawing on Amanda’s folder to drawing on Amanda? Sometimes the WHY just isn’t productive.
Thanks for the great comment, Linda.
Diane
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